Andlie's been coughing a lot lately. You know that kind of cough where you cough so hard that it takes your breath away? Well, us adults can just cough up the phlem (ewe) and move on.
Anyway, I put Andlie down for her nap this afternoon and heard her in there coughing and coughing and coughing and coughing so I went in to check on her. I could tell she was trying to get something out, so I patted her back and put my hand in front of her mouth. (Yes, at some point, it has become okay for me to voluntarily put my hand in front of a toddler's mouth to knowingly catch some sort of body fluid.) Sure enough, up came the yuckies. Yep, I caught some sort of snotty mess in my hand. So, with one hand I tried to get her out of her bed while still trying to keep a cupping shape with my other hand and make it to the bathroom sink to dump the yuckies. About the time she started walking to the bathroom, she started puking some more. This time it was the milk she had just drank before naptime, but it was no longer liquid. This whole time, I had been using all of my faculties trying not to dry heave and make a big scene. Then my faculties failed. My pregnant self couldn't take the smell of the yuckies and the sight of them all over my carpet and pooled up in my hand. I suddenly used the hand that was holding Andlie's to cover my own mouth in hopes that I could keep it closed 'til we hit the bathroom. I made it. We finally got to the bathroom. Andlie was crying. I was laughing. I started wiping yuckies off of her legs and mouth and then I lost my lunch in the sink - again. I decided it might be best at this point to get a breath of fresh air and get myself together. With no other options left, I left the bathroom. Andlie was still in there with yuckies dripping off of her flesh, crying, and with one arm in her shirt sleeve and one arm out. I took a few deep breaths with yuckies still existing on my being and a wet rag in the other hand. Finally, I composed myself and cleaned up the situation.
I got Andlie a new shirt. I wiped our whole house down. I used a million rags. I washed the bathroom sink. We calmed ourselves down and took several more deep breaths. I asked Andlie if she was okay. She said yes. I hugged her. I said, "poor girl." Andlie repeated me. I called Bryan with a hoarse voice and laughing to tell him what had just happened. Andlie got a popsicle. I got a good laugh. I'm still laughing.
Throw Up + Pregnant Lady = More Throw Up & A Good Story
